


Your Wings are Gray, but You Still Fly

by dark__swan, marryme-emmaswan (dark__swan)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Enchanted Forest, Angst, Emma just goes through a lot of shit that she doesn't deserve, F/M, Lieutenant Killian Jones, actually please still try and read it anyway, at least for this first chapter, cs angst, i worked really hard on this, just sadness, lieutenant duckling AU, oh god why did i write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:57:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6456871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark__swan/pseuds/dark__swan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/dark__swan/pseuds/marryme-emmaswan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crown Princess Emma of the Enchanted Forest is hiding a dark secret to protect her kingdom from total destruction.</p><p>Rumplestiltskin, the Dark One, is angry that his ally Regina joined the side of heroes. A threat of war hangs over King David and Queen Snow's head until he offers a deal: wed their daughter, Emma, to his son, Baelfire, and he will cease any attacks upon their land. But how long will Emma be able to hide the truth about her betrothed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Secret

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I was going to be able to finish what I've planned out so far but I just cannot, people. I am tired.
> 
> TUMBLR: marryme-emmaswan  
> INSTAGRAM (because I'm an attention whore please love me): megan_ashley_official (yeah, I'm official. Because I'm an actress and I want people to think I make money off of it)

                Emma studied her reflection in the mirror hanging on the brick wall beside an open window. She had spent hours perfecting herself to conceal the bruises from the night before, but with one gentle gust of wind, she found herself repositioning her light blonde hair for what could very well be the hundredth time to hide the bruises on her neck, but she knew it was no use. Someone was bound to discover what had happened last night, and no matter how hard she tried, she wouldn’t be able to stop the rumors they would inevitably spread. The court could gossip all they wanted; Emma couldn’t care less. But if her parents learned the truth, they would try to stop her. And she couldn’t let that happen.

                Smoothing over her dress once more – not out of vanity; but as if her subconscious assumed a flat skirt would do anything – she made her way to the window. It was a beautiful day: the sun shining without a cloud in the sky, the summer grass so green it seemed as if it was just waiting for her. But today, Emma wouldn’t be going outside; at least not for the sake of enjoying the season. She had business to attend to, being the Crown Princess of the Enchanted Forest and all.

                “Your Highness?”

The voice stirred Emma from her thoughts and she turned to face it. Ruby, her mother’s lifelong friend and Emma’s handmaiden, stood in the doorway. Her curly, dark brown locks were drawn up in a messy bun and she wore a simple red dress, contrasting Emma’s pale blue one.

“Apologies, but I tried knocking. You didn’t answer, and your parents -.”

“It’s all right, Ruby. And I’ve told you countless times: call me Emma,” the blonde responded with a polite smile. She carefully made her way to Ruby, unsure if the woman would notice the marks on her.

And notice them she did.

“Emma!” Ruby’s dark eyes dropped to Emma’s neck, reaching out to brush her fingers across the purple bruises. “What…who -.”

“Please don’t tell anyone. It was…” Emma hesitated. How would she explain this? “…I had an encounter with someone last night, and if my parents learned -.”

“You truly think a simple necklace is going to camouflage this?” The older woman took Emma by the hand and walked to the vanity, sitting her down in front of the smaller mirror intended for beauty purposes. She turned away and looked around the room, making a triumphant noise when she found an extra chair. Pulling it next to Emma, she took a seat.

“Emma, who was this man?” Ruby asked, before adding, “Or…was it a woman?”

“Um…”

“Your parents won’t accept this. You’re to be married tomorrow! What were you thinking?”

Tears welled in Emma’s eyes. _What_ was _she thinking?_ How long did she think she could hide this from anybody? From her parents?

 _From Killian,_ Emma thought to herself.

Arms encompassed her and she let them, not wanting to worry Ruby any further.

                “Emma, you know I won’t judge you for anything. But you’re supposed to be a maiden until marriage. How are you going to explain this to Baelfire? It’s a violation of his trust.”

                She couldn’t respond to that. A violation, yes, but not of _his_ trust.

                A violation of hers.

\--

                The room was filled with people: her parents, Snow White and King David; the Captain of the Naval Fleet, Liam Jones, and a few of his men; and Killian. She felt his gaze on her as she entered the room, but she couldn’t meet it. Yes, she found the younger brother of Captain Jones very handsome, but he was lower than her in ranking (although that didn’t stop him from being her closest friend). They’d grown up together, running through the gardens while his brother was meeting with the King and Queen, dancing together at her first ball (she remembered fondly how he had calmed her nerves and ignored how the older guests danced: he lead her around the ballroom and they made their own dance, laughing and tripping the entire night)… _but that doesn’t matter,_ she scolded herself. _You’re betrothed to_ him _now_.

It was a constant reminder that anything good in her life was only temporary. Even her lifelong friend would be gone from her life –

“Tomorrow,” Snow White announced, “as we all know, is the day my daughter Emma will marry the son of Rumplestiltskin. I’m confident you’re all aware what this will mean to our kingdom, but to inform those who aren’t, my husband will explain.”

Emma is being pulled to the head of the elongated table by Ruby, and she does her best to look graceful as she comes back from her thoughts. Her father stands as her mother sits, and soon she’s beside him, once again fixing her hair; even if there was no need for it. Ruby was gracious enough to offer her powder in order to cover the bruising, but only after a strict lecture about keeping sexual preferences to one’s self and making sure one’s safe if one’s preferences include choking. Emma wasn’t sure how to fully explain, well, anything, so she humored Ruby by keeping quiet through the lecture and nodding in agreement at the end.

But that was then, and now she was being put on display like a prize steed. She knew her parents meant as well as they could, but in the end, there was one reason they were giving her away so soon.

“Rumplestiltskin has threatened us with war ever since Regina joined the side of the heroes.” David motioned at the woman to his left: a beautiful lady with her black hair pinned back and a fairly revealing black gown. She nodded at him as if reminding him and Snow that she truly had changed, and he began to speak once again. “Your Queen, Snow, sent word with one of her birds that we would do whatever we can to prevent any fighting. His request was simpler than expected: Emma would wed his son, Baelfire,” another motion, but this time, to a young man seated farther down the table. He had a grin on his face, one that unsettled Emma, and she looked away. He was hiding something, and she knew exactly what it was. She could expose him right here, right now and all would be done. His misdeeds would leave with him and she could rest a hero.

 _Not a hero,_ her subconscious whispered. _A selfish girl, willing to let an entire kingdom fall because you weren’t able to keep your mouth shut. You are his. Disrespect him, and you will pay the price. Just like last night…_

Everything happened so quickly. One moment, she felt nauseous, the next, short of breath, and then she fell to the floor in a heap of unconsciousness.

\--

                Her eyes felt heavy, but she forced them open, revealing four concerned faces staring back at her.

                “Emma!” His voice was the first one she heard.

                “Killian? What happened?” Emma said uncertainly, looking to her left to see the Lieutenant sitting on a wooden chair beside her bed.

                “One moment, you were beside me, and then you went pale,” her father said from in front of her. “I tried to catch you before you hit the ground, but -.”

                “Are you all right, Emma? You hit your head -.” Her mother started before being interrupted by Emma.

                “I’m fine. I promise. I think my corset was too tight; that’s all. I just need some rest.” She tried her best to keep her voice steady, and it seemed to have worked as her parents stood, nodding in agreement. With a ‘Keep an eye on her, Killian’ from her father, her parents left, beckoning Ruby to follow (but not before Ruby shot Emma a look of don’t-do-anything-stupid-with-him).

                As soon as the door closed, Emma felt his fingers curl into hers and she felt at peace. Nobody could get to her. Not with Killian around.

                “Emma -.”

                “I should sleep,” the princess said, cutting him off.

                “Of course, Your Majesty.”

                Emma groaned at the title. He only used it when she was distant around him, as if reminding her that he had no intentions of overstepping his boundaries.

                _Well, none that you could ever tell her about,_ the young Killian Jones thought to himself. It was true: he’d pined after her during their teenage years, but he knew what he was – a simple Lieutenant. She deserved someone who could provide for her, who had the ability to command an entire army in order to protect her. _Someone like Baelfire._

“Don’t call me that. I’ve had enough strangers call me that today, and from what I remember, we have many years behind us.”

                “Do we? I don’t recall them, _Your Majesty_ ,” Killian replied with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, to which Emma could only roll her eyes and scoff in an attempt to hide her amusement.

                “Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much at the taverns, then. _Pirate,_ ” Emma taunted back. Killian’s smile fell with an unamused look. He took his hand from hers and crossed his arms, pouting like a child.

                “I don’t drink… _much,_ ” Killian said. “And I’m certainly not a pirate.”

                Emma’s eyes sparkled in the candlelight.

                “Too bad. You could’ve stolen enough treasure to buy a boat and take me away from here,” She retorted, her teasing grin falling as her words set in. Then, in a much quieter voice, she said, “I don’t want to marry him, Killian. He -.”

                “I know, Emma. I know.” Killian nudged Emma’s shoulder until she scooted to the side of the bed, giving him room to climb in beside her. She curled into him, closing her eyes as his fingers played with her hair.

                He said he knew. But he really, _really_ didn’t.

\--

                That night, after Emma had recovered from her fall (and had dinner, and attended another meeting, AND changed into a nightgown…it wasn’t as if she enjoyed being a princess), she was back in her room, sifting through her drawers.

                “Where is it?” She whispered to herself. She’d already looked in her pillowcase, where her diary was supposed to be, under the blankets and under the bed, in her bathroom; but it was nowhere to be found.

                “Looking for something?”

                Emma froze, the voice behind her making her blood run cold and her body shake. She slowly turned to see Baelfire standing in her doorway, reading...

                “That isn’t yours.” She hadn’t meant for her voice to be so shaky, but she couldn’t stop it from happening.

                “Excuse me?” Baelfire said, stepping closer. “We’ll be wed tomorrow, and what’s yours,” he motioned to the diary he held, “is mine.”

                “I’ve asked for guards to be stationed outside my chambers. If you touch me -.”

                “I’m the son of the Dark One. You think I didn’t bring a few potions along on my journey here?” Another step closer. He was closing in on her, and she had no way to escape. “Now, I read something…worrying in this little notebook of yours, Emma. And I thought we should have a talk about it.”

                “You _read_ my -.”

 **SMACK.** She hit the ground, the force of his hand knocking her off her balance. An angry red welt blossomed over her left cheek as she scrambled to get away, but it was too late. A fist in her hair pulled her to her feet again, and with a shove, her back slammed against the brick wall. He wasn’t holding her diary anymore, having discarded it when she’d fallen.

                “You _whore._ You were going to tell someone, weren’t you?” Baelfire growled, his hands at her throat again, just as they had been the night before.

                “No, I -.” She begged with what little air she had left. One hand left her throat, turning into a fist before he hit her again, this time in the ribs. She heard a crack and she screamed – or at least tried to, the sound coming out more like a hoarse whisper – her legs giving out underneath her as she wrapped her arms around her torso. He let her fall, and her sobs filled the room once she could breathe again.

\--

                Killian had gone for a walk around the castle, something he had taken to the last visit he and his brother had made to the royal family. He enjoyed the fresh air, not having to interact with anyone, and sometimes if he was in the right place at the right time, he could listen to Emma singing folksongs in her room as she got ready for bed.

                But this time, it wasn’t singing he heard. It was pleading.

                “No, I -.”

                Her voice was full of terror and he froze, listening. A muffled cracking noise could be heard, followed by cries of pain, and he ran. He had to find the guards – immediately.

\--

                Baelfire had left after one last kick to her broken rib, leaving a bloodied Emma on the ground. She had to get up. She had to…

                The door opened and she braced herself for another round, but once the guards filled the room, she let herself cry, partly out of joy that it wasn’t him again, but mostly from the pain. Someone had heard –

                What? What had they heard? If – whoever it was – had heard Baelfire, they would tell her parents, and she knew they would call off the wedding, bringing a war unlike any they had ever seen to their kingdom. She couldn’t let that happen. She had to make this right.

                _You’re weak,_ her subconscious told her. _You couldn’t keep quiet and now the entire land will pay._

Those were the last thoughts she had before passing out.


	2. "I'll Find a Way."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma wakes the next morning and Killian demands to know who hurt her. Can she hold up this facade, or will it all come crumbling down?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter than the last one, but once I got to the end, I felt it was the right place to stop. Don't worry, I will be writing another chapter. If the muses allow.
> 
> TUMBLR: marryme-emmaswan  
> INSTAGRAM (again, attention whore): megan_ashley_official

                The whispering voices wasn’t what woke Emma; rather the sun’s rays shining through the open window directly on her face. Her eyes opened and began to water as a sunbeam hit her pupil. In an attempt to shield her eyes, Emma turned her head to the right. It didn’t do much since the light illuminated the entire room, and she groaned, closing her eyes once more. Killian was the first one to notice her wake and he rushed to the side of her bed, intertwining their fingers together as they had done so many times before.

                “Emma. Look at me, please.”

                “Too bright…” she murmured, her eyebrows furrowing stubbornly. Killian motioned to Ruby to close the curtains, casting the room in near-darkness. As Ruby went around lighting candles, Killian leaned forward, brushing a strand of hair from Emma’s cheek, tucking it behind her ear. He heard a sigh of relief that could have come from himself or from Emma as she hesitantly opened her eyes once more.

                “Emma,” he whispered. “You need to tell me what happened. Who hurt you?”

                _Fix this._

“Nobody. I just fell.” Everything in her wanted to scream, to cry, to tell Killian what Baelfire had been doing, but she knew the consequences of acting so selfishly. Still, she rarely lied to Killian, and when she did, he could always see through her. Why Emma had assumed this morning would be any different was beyond her.

                “Don’t try and fool me, Princess. You have bruises all over your arms, around your throat… _someone_ did this, and I intend to make them pay,” Killian said, his eyes drifting across her body. Emma’s arms folded across her chest in an attempt to cover up, uncomfortable at his gaze.

                “Really? And how do you plan on doing that, _Lieutenant_?” Emma spit back at him.

                The words wedged their way into his heart like a dagger, and he pulled back. Lieutenant. That’s what he was, and he knew he had no right to question Emma about these things. He was not entitled to knowing what had happened, nor entitled to telling the King and Queen. Princess Emma was a friend, yes, but more importantly (in the eyes of society, at least) she was his superior, and anything she wanted to happen, would.

                Still, while reminding himself of these things, he couldn’t help the way he felt. He wanted to see her smile, to be the _reason_ for that smile. Waking up beside her in the mornings, wrapping his arms around her slender waist at night, making love to her every single night…but he would never get that chance. He’d been by her side for seven years, and yet she still couldn’t look past his title. _But could you truly look past hers?_ He asked himself, but he wasn’t fooling anybody. _Yes. I could._

“I’ll find a way.”

                She turned her head away from where he sat, closing her eyes to prevent tears.

                He just wanted what was best for her, and she treated him like a leper on the streets. But she couldn’t tell him. Not now. Soon, it would be Emma’s duty to protect the kingdom, but there would be nothing left to protect if she listened to her heart and revealed everything to him. _If only Killian was an eligible husband,_ she found herself thinking. _He would never hurt you._

                Emma found herself facing him once more, unable to hold back the silent tear that ran down her cheek. Raising a few fingers to her cheek, Killian brushed the tear off, giving an encouraging smile.

                “You can tell me anything, darling.”

                “No,” Emma whispered. “I can’t. If this kingdom falls because of me -.”

                “Baelfire.” One simple word caused an immediate reaction in Emma, her heartbeat increasing and her breath quickening. She calmed herself as much as she could.

                “Excuse me?” She feigned confusion.

                “He did this to you, didn’t he?” Killian was standing now, running his fingers through his hair as he thought.

                “Don’t be ridiculous, Lieutenant. He would never -.”

                “He’s the only one who has access to your room at night. You had guards outside your doors, didn’t you?”

                “How did you know that?”

                “When you’re in the business of protecting the royal family, you tend to learn where other soldiers are as well,” Killian answered, moving to the spot on the floor where she’d been found. “And the only way you’d be the cause of the kingdom collapsing – as you say – is if you refused to marry him.”

                “My fiancé -.”

                “Gods, Emma!” Killian hissed. “You don’t need to protect him. Your parents would send him back to live with that hellish crocodile if you said the words!”

                “I’m not protecting anyone!” Emma shouted, tears flooding her cheeks and stinging her still-raw skin where she’d been slapped the night before. Whether from pain or fear, she didn’t know why she cried, but she was exceptionally good at stopping herself: a skill she had picked up as a princess. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on calming down, on slowing her breathing. Now that she was focusing on it, she began thinking of how much pain she was actually in. Her side was throbbing, and no matter how much they bandaged it, she knew it would be weeks before she’d be able to do much other than lie in bed.

                After a few more deep (well, as much as her body would allow) breaths, Emma spoke again.

                “I’m protecting my kingdom.”

                “And you think that by letting him do this to you, you’re instantly going to stop all the problems around you?” Killian argued.

                “He’s my betrothed. I will not speak against him, Lieutenant. If I don’t marry Baelfire, the Enchanted Forest will see a war unlike any other. And I will not be responsible for that. That is my duty as a Crown Princess; I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

                “He’ll kill you, Emma! Please!”

                “I think I should rest. I trust you, Killian. Do not let me down.” Emma said. Her eyes closed before he could respond, and he knew better than to push her any further.

                “I don’t intend to let you down,” he replied quietly. He trailed the backs of his fingers down the blonde’s untainted cheek, but when she pulled away from him, he took it as his cue to leave.

\--

                Outside the princess’s bed chambers, Killian found Ruby sitting on the ground in the hall, four guards now standing on either side of the large wooden door. Upon his arrival, the handmaiden stood.

                “How is she? Did you find out who did this?”

                “Yes. And we must tell the King and Queen immediately.”


	3. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the title is pretty self-explanatory, but more than one thing is confessed here. I guess it should be "The Confessions", but idk. That sounds like a title for Priest!Killian (shoutout to all those gutterflowers) and oh god now I'm thinking about Priest!Killian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I basically just keep raising the number of chapters (for example, the first chapter was 1/2, the second was 2/3, and now it's 3/4) because I have no idea where I'm going to stop but I don't want anybody to get too excited.
> 
> TUMBLR: marryme-emmaswan  
> INSTAGRAM: megan_ashley_official

                When Emma awoke next, it was by a knock at the door. She moved to sit up, instantly cradling her ribcage as she bit her lip, tears forming in her eyes. There’s no way she’d be able to stand in time for the wedding tomorrow, but if they delayed it any longer, the Dark One would more than likely destroy another village on the outskirts of the country. Maybe Regina had some potion that could help…

                “Emma?”

                Her mother’s voice called to her from the doorway and Emma caught sight of her and King David.

                “Sorry. Come in,” Emma said softly, her face relaxing in an attempt to look as calm as possible. The two royals entered, revealing another person standing behind them who made no indication of moving forward.

                “We came in as soon as we’d heard you were injured and we would have stayed by your side,” her father explained, “But we _do_ have responsibilities and we weren’t able to just stop, no matter how much we wish we could.”

                “It’s alright,” Emma said, her eyes hovering near the doorframe.

                “Killian was the one to inform us, actually,” David said, motioning at the man whose eyes were locked on Emma’s. “He came as soon as he knew you were safe.”

                _So_ he’s _the one that overheard her and Baelfire,_ Emma thought.

                “Is he? Well, I’m grateful to him,” she said, finally looking at her parents. Snow White took her daughter’s hand in both of hers and planted a kiss to the top of it.

                “Did someone do this to you, Emma?” the Queen asked. Emma froze. He wouldn’t have dared tell her parents anything: would he? Killian was supposed to be the one person she could trust to keep her secrets, especially one that could impact so many lives.

                “No. As I’ve told Killian _and_ Ruby, I fell and landed on my side.”

                “But your throat -.”

                “That was…I…” Emma thought back to what Ruby had assumed she’d done the previous morning. “I’d heard rumors of a man from the island of Neverland. I wanted to get to know him, and we…engaged in physical activities.”

                “Emma,” her mother sighed. Her father ran his hands over his stubble and looked behind him at Killian, the two sharing a look that Emma couldn’t decipher.

                “If you were, say, covering for somebody because you thought it was the right thing to do, just know that we will always protect you,” David said.

                Now it was Emma’s turn to exchange a look with Killian, and the young man was easily able to read her expression: _What have you done?_

                “I have no reason to cover for anyone,” Emma said quickly as she looked down at her fingers, which were curling in her sheets mindlessly.

                David sighed and reached forward, taking Emma’s free hand.

                “Killian told us it was Baelfire,” he said softly. “And you know -.”

                “I don’t know why he’d think that, but it isn’t true. Like I said: I fell.”

                Snow White gestured for Killian to enter the room. Once inside, he closed the door and turned back around, staring at the ground. He couldn’t look at Emma. Not now. He had gone against her wishes and she was furious at him. He might have lost her as a friend, but at least she was still alive. And that was all that mattered in the end.

                “Sweetheart, did Baelfire do this?” Snow finally blurted out, unable to continue this game of cat-and-mouse she and David were playing with their daughter. “You know we love you, and if he hurt you -.”

                “Of course he didn’t,” Emma snapped. “Baelfire loves me. He would never -,” she paused, her voice hitching on those words, on those lies. “He would never do something like this.”

                “Why won’t you tell us the truth, Emma?” Her father said, rising to his feet. He began pacing back and forth beside her bed. “You know we will send him away if you asked. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

                “I will not speak against him. This country will be mine one day, and this marriage must happen. If he _had_ done something – which he hasn’t – it would have been my fault. A woman must respect her husband,” the princess said, her voice growing smaller as she began to retreat into her mind.

                “Emma…” Snow moved closer to her daughter, cupping the blonde’s cheeks in her hands. “Look at me.”

                Emma wanted to close her eyes, to turn her head away, _something,_ but she knew better than to disobey her mother, so her eyes lifted. She could feel her father’s and Killian’s gaze on her, and she was sure they were as confused as Snow, but she tried to push them out of her mind.

                “I don’t know where you’ve gotten the notion that a woman must bow down to a man, especially her husband, but get that out of your head immediately,” Snow scolded. “If he did this, tell me. We won’t lose our kingdom, but if you let this continue, we _will_ lose you.”

                The tears she’d been holding back for so long cascaded down her face like a waterfall as she broke. She’d been foolish to try and hide this. She would be the cause of the destruction of everyone, all because she couldn’t put on a brave face. Her mother’s arms wrapped around her gently, holding her close.

                “Shh. It’s all right. We’ll find a way to fix this.” This made Emma cry even more as her subconscious sneered.

                _It wouldn’t need to be fixed if you’d kept quiet. This is your fault. The people’s blood is on your hands._

\--

                They’d left hours ago to let Emma rest, but resting wasn’t a possibility when the voices in her head continuously taunted and tormented her. Keeping them at bay was harder than it should have been, and she resorted to digging the tips of her fingers into her injured side. The pain brought a scream to her lips and tears to her eyes, but at least her mind was focused on her rib instead of her guilt. As the nurse rushed in with more medicine and a cool, wet rag, Emma smiled, finally able to sleep.

\--

                He was in her room again. The creaky door woke Emma, and her eyes widened before seeing who it was. They closed again before Killian noticed she’d seen him, and she feigned sleep as he made his way to the side of her bed. His warm hands took hers and she wanted to pull away; she wanted to scream, to scratch at him for telling her parents. But she didn’t stir. She wasn’t ready to speak to him.

                “Oh, Emma,” Killian sighed as he examined her fingers. “I’ll understand if you hate me for the rest of your days. It will be enough knowing that you’re still alive.” A kiss was pressed to the back of her hand. “From the moment I first met you, I knew you were special, but it took a few years to realize just _how_ special.”

                Emma’s breath hitched and she did her best to hide it with a shuffle of her shoulders. Killian didn’t speak for moments afterward, unsure if she would wake. When he was sure she was still asleep, he continued.

                “I’ll never be good enough. But gods, how I wish to be. How I wish to have you look at me with something other than disdain in your eyes as you do now. Gods, even before Baelfire, I knew you saw me only as a friend,” he paused, taking a deep breath. “I love you, Emma. My swan,” he added with a chuckle to himself, remembering the day he first gave her the nickname.

\--

                _“This is ridiculous,” Emma said. “My parents have invited hundreds of guests for my birthday, and you expect me to just…leave?”_

_“Emma, you do realize we’ve already left, right?” Killian replied as he led her through the empty gardens. A large pond surrounded by middlemist flowers was at the center, the water reflecting the large white moon._

_Emma rolled her eyes as she took a seat on a marble bench, smoothing her white dress with her hands. Killian had teased her earlier in the night, telling her she was the most beautiful swan he’d ever laid eyes upon. She responded the way she always responded to his quips: a scoff and a swat on the arm._

_Her gaze turned to the young man standing by the edge of the water as he stared across the pond at a white bird floating on the water. He looked over at her with a smirk, pointed, and whispered “I’ll bet that’s your mother.”_

_“My mother’s inside, which is where I should be,” Emma answered._

_“No, no, think about it!” Killian exclaimed enthusiastically, causing the swan to spread its wings and fly away. Emma laughed as Killian kneeled beside her._

_“Do you remember the old tale about the swan princess, cursed by a wizard to spend her days as a -.”_

_“A swan, yes. That much is clear so far,” Emma finished for him with a teasing grin._

_“Hush, darling. I’m telling you a story. As I was saying – before you so rudely interrupted; really, Emma, I expected more from a princess – she was cursed by a wizard. She couldn’t leave the pond during the day, just like you and your castle. It was only at night that she was truly allowed to be herself.” Emma was mesmerized by his storytelling and she pulled him up to sit beside her on the bench._

_“But if the Swan Princess was actually a woman, how could a swan be my mother?” Emma questioned. “And furthermore,” she said, feigning arrogance, “I don’t turn into a swan. I couldn’t possibly be the princess.”_

_“Well, you already_ are _a princess. And,_ furthermore,” _Killian teased, earning a giggle from Emma, “You’re dressed like a bloody swan. Who’s to say that isn’t your true form?”_

_“If my true form is a giant white ballgown with feathers, please put me out of my misery. Corsets are not easy to breathe in.”_

_The next instant, Killian’s thumb and forefinger cupped Emma’s chin, lifting her face to meet his eyes. Her smile faded into a look of curiosity as he studied her closely._

_“Emma…” he whispered. “May I kiss you?”_

_All she could do was nod, and then his lips were pressed against hers. She knew it wasn’t right, knew that one day, they would be parted, but damn the future. Right now was all she cared about. As they pulled back, their foreheads resting against each other’s, Killian smiled._

_“My swan.”_

\--

                Before she could respond, the door opened, revealing Ruby holding a tray of food. Killian stood awkwardly as the woman stared at him, a smirk on her lips. He cleared his throat and turned, leaving the room (and leaving Emma to her thoughts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you came here from Tumblr and have enjoyed the fic/the chapter, PLEASE reblog it. I'm having a lot of fun with this story and I've had so much inspiration. I could definitely keep this going for a bit, but only if people share it and help me reach new readers.


	4. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby notices Emma is distant. She takes it upon herself to fix the problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it again. It's now chapter four out of five because I really like writing this story and I want to keep going, but I also don't want it to be 4/? because then people will assume it will have a lot of chapters and I don't know where I'll end it. Of course I COULD go on for a while, but will I*? Who knows.
> 
> *Will I = am I going to get very lazy/have writer's block/become uninterested with the story
> 
> TUMBLR: marryme-emmaswan  
> INSTAGRAM: megan_ashley_official
> 
> **EDIT: I got bored with it. So for now, I have it as "complete" because I don't want people to read it and be waiting for more. If I get inspiration again, I'll continue. Sorry for the lousy ending - I just wasn't sure where to stop.

                He didn’t come the next day, or the day after that, and Emma found herself very lonely. She was still angry at him, but she was beginning to understand why he did what he did. She missed his company, his laugh, his eyes…

                Emma shook her head. It wouldn’t do to dwell, and it wasn’t as if she had _nobody_ to occupy her time. Ruby spent every afternoon with the princess and would share gossip of the latest arrivals at court. Today, Ruby was telling Emma about Elsa, the queen of Arendelle.

                “It’s said she has magic that controls ice and snow,” Ruby said in a hushed tone, as if Elsa was standing outside the door listening to them. “They say she froze her entire kingdom – on accident, of course – and her sister Anna helped her learn to master her powers.”

                “Oh.”

                “Emma, are you all right? You’ve been very…distant all morning,” Ruby said, interrupting her story. Emma looked up upon hearing her name, her eyes unfocused.

                “Huh? Oh, no, I’m fine. I’m just…thinking.”

                Ruby shot her a worried look, but Emma’s gaze was drawn to the closed door, a forlorned look masking her face. Ruby knew of the princess’s fondness for the young lieutenant and could see the burden that weighed on her because of it.

                “Why don’t I go get us something from the kitchens?” The handmaiden suggested while standing up.

                “Yeah.”

                Ruby sighed, smoothing her dress. After rearranging Emma’s blankets, she took her leave, determined to help in whatever way she could. And she knew exactly where to start.

\--

                “Lieutenant.”

                Killian sighed, looking up at the woman from his place at the table. He raised a tumbler to his lips, knocking back another shot of the finest whiskey money could buy, the thud of glass against wood following as he set the cup down.

                “Lady Ruby,” he acknowledged. “What brings you to a village tavern?” He’d poured another drink before his mind made the connection, and his eyes widened. “Has something happened to Em-…to the princess?”

                “If something had, I wouldn’t be here,” Ruby said, rolling her eyes. “And _you_ would be none the wiser.” Her fingers curled in his jacket as she yanked him to his feet, dragging him away from where he had been sitting. He staggered, very obviously drunk, which irritated her even more. A slap across his face seemed to sober him a bit. At the very least, it was an enjoyable thing for Ruby to do.

                “Bloody hell, woman!” He mumbled, cradling his cheek. “What was that for?”

                “For not being with Emma when she needs you!” Ruby growled. “She tells me everything is fine, but I see it in her eyes. She misses you, and you’re a fool for not noticing.”

                Killian was taken aback for a moment and Ruby could see the vulnerability fighting within him. But then it was gone, and a chuckle took its place.

                “You’re mistaken; perhaps you’re projecting your own feelings onto her?” He said, stepping closer. His fingers brushed Ruby’s hair aside, but she was having none of that. Another smack to his cheek and a frustrated shove knocked him against the wall, and he leaned his head back, looking up at the roof. “I deserved that one.”

                “You deserved the first one, too,” Ruby said. She paused, watching him, then stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve known you _and_ Emma for a long time. I’ve seen the way you two interact, Killian. You’re in love.”

                “Emma isn’t one to leave things to fate. If she truly felt something, she would have told me.”

                “A long time ago, you told me that you believed actions speak louder than words do,” Ruby began. “And I know things have happened between you.”

                “I’ve never done anything that could damage her reputation -.”

                “I know that. I’m referring to what you did all those years ago: I believe it was Emma’s first ball?” Ruby replied, an amused look on her face as Killian blushed. “Look. You two have stood up for each other against gossip, against toxic relationships,”

(Killian’s mind flickered to his brief relationship with Milah, a pirate who came to port a couple years ago)

“And now, when she truly needs you, you’re here at a tavern getting drunk and feeling sorry for yourself.”

“She doesn’t want me there, Ruby. She believes the kingdom will fall because I refused to let her be abused for Baelfire’s entertainment. And truthfully? I hope she blames me. At least that way, she won’t hold herself accountable.”

“That’s exactly what I mean, Killian! What you just said. The same way I can see how much you love her, I can see how much she loves you.”

The dark-haired man ran his fingers through his shaggy, raven hair, another sigh coming from his lips.

“Even if that were true, it wouldn’t matter. She cannot marry me. I am lower than her in station and foreign countries would see that as weakness.”

Another smack hit him, this time on the opposite cheek.

“Alright, I’m curious as to what earned that one.”

“Queen Snow married King David, who was just a shepherd on a farm on the outskirts of town because they’re true loves. Do you honestly believe they would take that choice away from their daughter as well?” Ruby asked.

“Well she certainly seems to think so.”

“She’s a naïve, young girl who seems to think she’s already the queen,” Ruby answered plainly. “I will stand by her side, but she knows how I view her actions. She’s taken it upon herself to fight a war that hasn’t even been sanctioned yet. But she needs you right now, and I really need to be getting back, so are you coming? Or will you stay and drown your sorrows in a bottomless glass of alcohol?”

                Killian thought about everything Ruby had just told him: Emma was in love with him (or so her handmaiden said), _actions speak louder than words_ , the King and Queen wedding even though David was lower than Snow in class (much lower than Killian was to Emma)…

                “Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> I realized that the past/present tense are intermingled. I'm sorry for that, but unless someone is willing to go through and fix it for me, I will not touch it for a bit. Because I'm a lazy piece of shit. Anybody who looks through my fics can see I never finish anything and probably couldn't if my life depended on it.


End file.
